Awareness. Let me say a few thing. I have IBM Disease and worked in IT professionally for 20 years but supported the places I worked with IT since 1982 and messed around with Commodore and Apple iiE.
So I am a computer savvy person with IBM disease. I think that is an ironic oddity in these times.
But, back to awareness. I am aware that I am different today than I was when I was 18, climbing Mt. Rainier and hiking all over Washington, fly fishing in more lakes than I can remember, being a volunteer firefighter in Bothell, working at Pay’n Save, dating a girl who I am still friends with and founding to WWU in 1979 after giving up a job offer to be a professional firefighter for Bothell.
I learned I had Long QT just before I went to college, learned it could be deadly, lost two brothers in th 90’s to it and almost lost my daughter and sister to complications from the defibrillators we have in our bodies.
Type 1 diabetes runs in our family and the two brothers and my sister have it. One uncle has it and even though he was not expected to live a long life he has.
I learned to drive in an Oldsmobile 442 with him.
Dad died from lung cancer probably caused by Agent Orange when he served in Vietnam fighting a war so unpopular and despised that even today Vietnam veterans are often treated poorly. It has gotten better.
Mom died a couple of years ago from a stroke. It was pretty sudden and makes a person aware that life can be fragile.
My life has changed. I have two beautiful daughters from a marriage that was wonderful until it wasn’t.
Now, I am aware that I am in a relationship that is so unbelievably good that it feels like a dream.
I’m aware that I cannot do what I used to do but I am also aware that, at age 66, that I am getting older and life changes for all of us. It is how we live our lives that makes us aware of how lucky we are.
I am sitting on our deck watching birds, squirrels and the trees while drinking coffee and writing a sappy Facebook post.
But I am also aware that I can do things. I can be kind, grateful, polite and use my talents to change things while accepting what I cannot change and letting the rest go away. I’ve been around alcoholics my entire life and learned the lesson above well.
I didn’t cause or do anything to deserve anything bad that has happened to me nor did I do anything or deserve to get to do the good things in my life.
It is just life. When I became aware that life happens and how we can change things by our attitude and actions it got better.
I can do many things very well and I have changed how I do things that are difficult for me. I even ask total strangers for help in stores or wherever.
So, fight it and frustrate yourself or change what you can and live a happy life, screw the rest of it.