A New Year!

2013 has started, the rush of Christmas is past, some milestones have come and gone and more are on their way.

Mom spent three weeks over Christmas (December 16 to January 8) with Ruby and I. We shared some moments that were funny, serious, sad and very difficult.

One of the funny moments (the moment actually lasted for several days was Mom baking for at least three days (it seemed like a week) and making probably 60 or 80 dozen cookies. I asked her what she was going to do with the cookies and she replied that she did not know. One time she decided that giving cookies to our neighbors would be nice so she marched to the neighbors and gave them cookies…….. hello neighbors, nice to meet you, yes, that was my mom.

Another humorous moment was when we were talking about a rooster Ruby had purchased for the garden/home and mom told us that roosters do “it” to hens by wrapping their wings around the hen because that is where “it” is and how “it” happens. She did not believe me when I told her a rooster has an “it” just like all other males. We laughed so hard we cried.

We also cried at other times during the three weeks……. and we also had great discussions about money. Mom likes to shop. She especially likes to shop when she is depressed and feeling sad. Over the last several months she has shopped a lot and, since she has asked me to help her with her finances, I have had to ask her WHY she is spending so much money.

I finally wrote a letter to her, outlining WHY I am so worried about her “shopping therapy” (I called it spending therapy) and how she is actually SPENDING money when she buys something and uses a coupon. She believed she was SAVING money. I told her that if she doesn’t NEED the item and she spends to save then it is money that is gone.

During one of our discussion she actually put her hands on her ears and walked out of the room. I probably should have asked her why she was acting like a five year old but I did not……. I can be very smart at times.

She finally bought into the “program” and understands that saving money at the bank is required so she can pay her expenses that always crop up and that living “paycheck to paycheck” is no more.

More dates are coming up that will be hard for Mom and our family. Jeff and Michael’s birthdays are coming at the end of January, Mom’s birthday is February 2 (Dad was diagnosed with cancer on her birthday) and then comes the anniversary of “THE” surgery, the fight to save his life over the next five months and on July 3 the anniversary of his death.

Mom is strong. She is getting better. She is getting worse, but then gets better. Her roller coaster ride of emotions never stops. She wants to get off but the ride just keeps on going. The same is true for all of us. Sometimes the power goes out and the ride stops at the top and life feels pretty normal, then up and down we go, round and round we go, one emotion after another.

So, welcome to the ride, get on, sit down, hang on, and let go. We cannot control it all the time but we can enjoy some of it, some of the time.

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2 Responses to A New Year!

  1. Patti says:

    That sounds so like your mom, to take cookies to a neighbor, even if she didn’t know them! We will all have up and down moments – I remember a picnic in Ryderwood about a year after my dad died, and Mom bursting into tears at the first bite of potato salad because it was Dad’s favorite. Just one of those moments, since she’d been doing well before that. So happy you have Ruby, who understands you so well, and so happy your mom has you to do the same. Love you, sweetie.

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