It is the day after Dad’s service. Mom, Ruby and I have enjoyed a very relaxing morning. We slept in, had a nice breakfast, watched some British Open (Can you believe there is no wind?) and have talked about yesterday. We agree that the service went very well and that there were a lot of people who thought a lot of Dad at the service as well as at the reception.
Everyone mourns and grieves differently and it seems people were at different stages of the process. Mom, Ruby and I have been around Dad so much that we were ready (well, as ready as anyone could be) for Dad’s death. We seem to be realists and appear to have been able to get beyond the initial shock and begun to enjoy the memories.
Others have wondered how people can laugh and truly enjoy a reception following an emotional service. People have different ways of dealing with pain. I, for example, have to be careful because I will tend to make jokes to keep myself from having a nervous breakdown. The other day, our neighbor ( a very nice woman) told me she was sorry about my loss. I said, “What loss?” She said, “Your Dad died.” I feigned surprise, said something like Oh, my god, are you kidding. Are you saying my Dad is dead!
Well, I was told by Ruby that kind of behavior was a tad bit disturbing and that I should probably not do that anymore. Hmmm, I seem to remember the same kind of “gallows” humor that my Dad possessed. So, I am blaming him. He’s not here to defend himself anyway. (see, there I go again…… — Dad rode in the back of my truck when Ruby and I drove north and we left him in the car at night, I asked Ruby if she thought he might be lonely….. another example — because I was hurting so badly and missed my dad terribly.)
Today we go antiquing and have dinner with Mom’s sister and brother in law in Monroe.